August 22, 2021

I was diagnosed with autism four years ago, and I met my boyfriend Jake one year later. It’s easy for him to forget that the timing was so close, since talking about each other’s brains is an important part of our relationship, and I’m always analyzing mine through the lens of autism.

The timing is …

August 21, 2021

Online friendships are real friendships.

My favorite silver lining of the pandemic is that virtual socializing has proven this to be true.

I knew it already, and so did others like me. But it hadn’t clicked for society at large, including many parents.

A few years ago, one of those parents asked me what to …

August 17, 2021

Whenever I feel like I’m being ridiculous, my boyfriend has a talent for helping me identify the valid logic that subconsciously drives my actions.

Like, I felt silly after packing twelve pairs of socks for a three-day trip. He didn’t see any problem with that, and reminded me that there’s no sock police. But I …

August 15, 2021

I am, in the most literal sense, self-centered. My internal experiences, both analytical and sensory, are always at the center of my attention, with external events swirling around secondarily.

Self-centered doesn’t mean selfish, but our culture often conflates them. So, for many years, I had a nagging sense of guilt for not thinking about others …

August 14, 2021

I’m fed up with seeing some autistic people described as “too disabled to self-advocate” or “unable to consent.” It’s cruel, dehumanizing, and false.

First, let me clarify that self-advocacy and consent are two sides of the same coin. Self-advocacy is communicating your boundaries, needs, or preferences. Consent is the same thing, but in direct response …

August 4, 2021

Early in my exploration of autism in women and girls, I learned that it often gets misdiagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), also known as Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder.

I never looked into what that meant, because I hadn’t personally been misdiagnosed – before autism, I hadn’t been diagnosed at all.

But recently, I’ve been …

July 28, 2021

For aesthetic reasons alone, I find the word “aspie” delightful. It reminds me of a cute little spy who aspires, and also makes pie.

So, why don’t I use it – or its parent term, Asperger Syndrome?

It isn’t because people unfamiliar with Asperger’s might think I’m discussing an unsavory sort of burger.

It isn’t …

July 28, 2021

When I first began learning about autism, I related to some traits but not others. I thought, at first, that I might be “half-autistic.”

Here’s why I thought the other half of me was not autistic – and what changed my mind.

“I can make eye contact.”

Yes, but not without sacrificing concentration. I’ve written …

July 26, 2021

Like many autistics, I care a lot about justice. This could be due to taking rules seriously, unable to distinguish which ones are worth enforcing and which aren’t. Or it could be aesthetic – when a favor is unthanked or a mistake unapologized for, my world feels off-balance and out of harmony.

In either case, …

July 23, 2021

If your son is autistic, have you considered that your daughter might be too?

Autism often looks different in girls, and can be extra hard to notice if you’ve mostly learned about it through a boy. So, how can you spot an autistic girl?

Notice if she’s unusually passionate about certain activities or topics – …