November 6, 2021

Why is it so common for teachers to have one student read aloud while others follow along in the book? It’s way too much multitasking for my brain.

I can only listen if I’m not reading. I can only read if I’m not listening. And I can only track where the current reader is on …

October 30, 2021

I can’t meditate. I mean, I can – but it’s the opposite of relaxing.

If I follow commands about when and how to breathe, it makes me feel lightheaded, like I’m drowning.

If I follow commands about what to think, it feels physically strenuous. It interrupts my brain’s natural flow of repeating thoughts until they’re …

October 30, 2021

Sensory tips for cold weather!

1. Legwarmers are great. I think of them as ankle scarves. They protect the space between your pants and your shoes, if you don’t want to wear boots or thick socks.

2. Heated bean bags are not just for sore muscles. They also feel nice on my lap in a …

October 26, 2021

“Treat others as you’d like to be treated” does not mean feeding them your favorite ice cream, dressing them in your favorite clothes, or subjecting them to your favorite TV shows.

So why do people assume it means greeting others in your preferred way, engaging them in your preferred activities, and interacting according to your …

October 23, 2021

Autistic people have the best social skills. We do things that many cannot, even if they try.

Like telling the truth – precisely, thoroughly, and unreservedly.

Like judging by merits and integrity, without regard for status or authority.

Like diving past surface-level pleasantries to explore the depths of one another’s fascination.

Maybe these aren’t the …

October 15, 2021

Here is one practical step you can take to support an autistic teen girl. Or any autistic teen, but this particular need is most common in conscientious fawners, who are frequently girls.

Ask her teacher how long she should be spending on homework, per night, on average. Then measure the actual time, and see how …

August 22, 2021

I was diagnosed with autism four years ago, and I met my boyfriend Jake one year later. It’s easy for him to forget that the timing was so close, since talking about each other’s brains is an important part of our relationship, and I’m always analyzing mine through the lens of autism.

The timing is …

August 21, 2021

Online friendships are real friendships.

My favorite silver lining of the pandemic is that virtual socializing has proven this to be true.

I knew it already, and so did others like me. But it hadn’t clicked for society at large, including many parents.

A few years ago, one of those parents asked me what to …

August 17, 2021

Whenever I feel like I’m being ridiculous, my boyfriend has a talent for helping me identify the valid logic that subconsciously drives my actions.

Like, I felt silly after packing twelve pairs of socks for a three-day trip. He didn’t see any problem with that, and reminded me that there’s no sock police. But I …

August 15, 2021

I am, in the most literal sense, self-centered. My internal experiences, both analytical and sensory, are always at the center of my attention, with external events swirling around secondarily.

Self-centered doesn’t mean selfish, but our culture often conflates them. So, for many years, I had a nagging sense of guilt for not thinking about others …