August 10, 2019

There are many people who like me, and many people who don’t. For most of my life, I figured that one group was wrong, but I could never be certain which one. Either I was likeable, and some people just didn’t know me well enough to see it – or I was unlikeable, and some people were just patient with me.

It took until my mid-twenties to learn that likeability is a question of compatibility, not a question of identity.

It took another few years to learn that what makes me less compatible with some people, and more compatible with others, is a beautiful neurotype that I would never want to lose.

I now believe that there is no such thing as “being likeable” or “being unlikeable.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and likeability is in the heart of the liker.

P.S. I write from my personal experience as an autistic. What I share is not a substitute for advice from an autistic medical professional. Also, some of my opinions have changed since I first wrote them.