September 26, 2022

Ways I self-advocate when I need reassurance:

“Please tell me a fact that I already know.”

Doesn’t matter what the fact is – mulling on truth keeps me grounded. Some people count sensory input (things they can see/hear/etc.) to reduce anxiety, but I find it less overwhelming to observe what’s inside me than what’s around me.

“Please talk me through all the possible outcomes.”

This is a more effective way to convince me that I’m going to be okay no matter what.

“Please ask me a question.”

This is less about comforting fears, and more about building connection, since questions are my love language. It took many years for me to figure out that I could ask for them directly.

What kind of reassurance do you find most helpful, and how do you ask for it?

P.S. I write from my personal experience as an autistic. What I share is not a substitute for advice from an autistic medical professional. Also, some of my opinions have changed since I first wrote them.