December 7, 2020

Twice, I’ve been called an enigma – 12 years ago, and 8 years ago. Both times were by guys interested in dating me, a rare occurrence that I didn’t know how to handle at the time.

Maybe they found it enigmatic that I did flirty things for non-flirty reasons. My complete incompetence at the neurotypical dance of flirting left them with mixed signals.

If they’d asked me a straightforward question, then I could have easily answered.

My current relationship was founded on straightforward questions. The questions grew deeper over time – more intimate, more intricate – but never stopped being a straightforward pursuit of mutual understanding.

I feel knowable, and known – no longer an enigma.

P.S. I write from my personal experience as an autistic. What I share is not a substitute for advice from an autistic medical professional. Also, some of my opinions have changed since I first wrote them.