October 22, 2020

Never try to stop an autistic person’s behavior. Instead, show us:

1) the benefit of doing it,
2) the cost of doing it,
3) the benefit of stopping it, and
4) the cost of stopping it.

This empowers us to choose what we want to change, and what we want to accept. In either case, we might ask for help – but the decision should be ours, and it should be informed.

(Exception to the rule: If we’re physically harming ourselves or others. But in that case, take an even closer look at the benefits and costs, to help us find something better that meets the same need.)

P.S. I write from my personal experience as an autistic. What I share is not a substitute for advice from an autistic medical professional. Also, some of my opinions have changed since I first wrote them.